My Sons Earliest Memory

His earliest memory from his childhood turns out to be about me and his Dad.

He said it feels like it was just a dream, that it didn’t happen.

But it did.

He was nearly 4 years old.

It was the day that I finally realised that this man whom I was separated from but still living with had the capability to actually kill me and thought nothing of our two wee boys looking up at him with shock and horror.

The moment He ‘lost it’ and ‘saw red’ – his words not mine.

I had just told him that I felt our marriage was truly over.

He grabbed me by my shoulders and pushed me up against the kitchen presses so forcefully that my head banged off the top cupboard. Then he put his hands around my throat and started to squeeze and squeeze.

As I tried to get his hands away from my throat our 5 year old shouts ‘Daddy, Daddy’, which brought the frightening episode to an end.

I have written about this before but today I wanted to share it again because my now 12 year old still has this memory in his head.

His earliest memory; but it was to be the first and thankfully the last time he was to witness such violence.

My ex. moved out of the house the next day.

Think for a moment of all the children that have memories like this and far worse.

They remember so much, even from such a young age.

I made the decision that my kids were no longer going to live in a situation where memories like this were possible.

And it turned out to be the right one.

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4 Responses to My Sons Earliest Memory

  1. I feel such gratitude to you for giving him such a wonderful life. We all have bad memories but not all of us feel saved from them. Beautifully written. Much love to you Catherine x

  2. Powerful post Mary K…..

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