‘Daddy, Daddy, watch me, watch me’ my proud boy shouts into the kitchen as he attempts once again to cycle down the little concrete path in our back garden, all 20 feet of it.
His little 5-year-old arms holding the handlebars steady, his knuckles white with the grip he has on them.
His legs wobble as he tries to cycle the short distance to the bottom of the garden.
His fiery red helmet looks way to big on him.
I watch out the window at his latest attempt; my heart skipping a beat hoping he doesn’t fall. It is not the first time it has skipped a beat this week. I have been taking him down to the park with his bike where there is more space. Last week I had finally taken off the stabiliser’s. My heart has been in my mouth ever since!
Bless him he really thought he would be able to cycle immediately and was very disappointed to find out that he had to learn how to master the skill first. After a few days he has learned how to cycle, he just needs to practice.
So today he get’s to show case his new skill to his Dad.
‘Daddy, Daddy did you see me?’ my boy shouts in again.
‘Do it again darling’ I reply.
Daddy isn’t watching him, He is too busy talking at me to notice that I am concentrating on the 5-year-old trying not to fall off his bike.
He is too busy arguing with me to notice His eldest showing Him his new-found skill.
He is too busy shouting at me to ‘take him back’ to notice this momentous occasion in his son’s life.
‘Daddy, Daddy I’m doing it again for you, watch me’.
But Daddy didn’t look.
Daddy was too busy telling me how unhappy He is since our break up, how unhappy He is living with relatives and not with His family.
How sad His life was now that we were separated.
And How much He missed His sons.
I turned away from the window when He started to raise his voice, I asked Him to lower it so that the boys wouldn’t hear Him.
He started calling me names, and I had to ask him to leave.
He never did get to see His son show off his new-found cycling skills, and I had to lie to my son that He did. I really hate lies but sometimes the truth hurts just too much to tell it.
One Day at a Time 